i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
