I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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