atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
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