it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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