its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
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