don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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