my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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