Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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