I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
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