i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
How naked do you want me to be?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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