walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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