Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
