No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize