are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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