WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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