I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize
