So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
