I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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