Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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