I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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