i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
