I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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