people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
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