Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Randomize
