Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
Randomize
