even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Randomize
