he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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