Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
She needs sedatives and a leash
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Randomize
