some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
