so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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