I wish I could teleport
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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