I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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