I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
The power of my boobs compel you
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
