No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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