i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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