yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
then he tried to convert me to islam
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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