He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
