I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
