i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Randomize
