Nicole vs. Life
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
