I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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