Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Did I miss anything?

  (1-914): View more from New York

  A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.

  (914): View more from New York

  so we also did drugs

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  (914): Did I miss anything? (1-914): A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson. (914): so we also did drugs http://tfl.nu/07bb
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  (801): View more from Utah

  My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv

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  (801): My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv http://tfl.nu/1bcq
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.

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  (814): you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them. http://tfl.nu/uohp
  Replies (20) Good night (1073) Bad night (8415) Order T-Shirt
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.

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  (602): You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy. http://tfl.nu/r33s
  Replies (15) Good night (3023) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.

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  (970): Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today. http://tfl.nu/sid7
  Replies (12) Good night (6923) Bad night (1253) Order T-Shirt
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it

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  (423): gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it http://tfl.nu/v9kx
  Replies (9) Good night (4020) Bad night (906) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...

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  (850): i did the responsible thing and pissed myself... http://tfl.nu/5qb4
  Replies (6) Good night (1032) Bad night (2825) Order T-Shirt
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.

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  (360): Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall. http://tfl.nu/7ndl
  Replies (3) Good night (3395) Bad night (1212) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club

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  (815): u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club http://tfl.nu/2dw9
  Replies (12) Good night (2448) Bad night (936) Order T-Shirt
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.

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  (563): I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer. http://tfl.nu/sbgi
  Replies (3) Good night (2287) Bad night (738) Order T-Shirt
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.

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  (612): I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look. http://tfl.nu/oye1
  Replies (9) Good night (2923) Bad night (689) Order T-Shirt
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.

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  (806): Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party. http://tfl.nu/ld7o
  Replies (4) Good night (1981) Bad night (529)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.

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  (785): Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose. http://tfl.nu/r1ga
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having

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  (720): Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having http://tfl.nu/k4bc
  Replies (3) Good night (737) Bad night (411) Order T-Shirt
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.

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  (319): I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you. http://tfl.nu/2phb
  Replies (6) Good night (447) Bad night (125) Order T-Shirt

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