new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
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