Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Randomize
