Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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