After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
