My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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