Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
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