you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
