I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
