i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
