I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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