they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
