If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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