Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Randomize
