my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Did we literally take a cab across the street
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
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