Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
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