you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
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