fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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