I love black thongs
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Randomize
