Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Someone shattered a urinal.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
