Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
