he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Randomize
