I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Randomize
