I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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