i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
