sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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