You made me cry and you don't even care
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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