she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
